I never wanted to speak like someone else, or write like someone else. I have always loved myself through all of my flaws and all. As I listen to people and hear grips and groans about how they desire to be somebody else. I realize that not loving yourself is scary, painful, and something I pray my daughters never experience. We must love the uniqueness God gave us and utilize to live on purpose.
God made us special and unique for a reason. Not to desire to be like somebody else…..that’s a sin but we are to love our self authentically and others. But how can we truly love our neighbor when we don’t love ourselves.
Time to life life and let your individual light shine!!!!
I have been away for far too long but I must admit my retreat was well deserved but( and there is always a but) transitioning my children into public school for the first time was scary as hell, and sort of took away from the cool and laid back writing retreat I planned for myself as soon as I decided to send them off to school.
All mothers and fathers know that somehow plans never seem to flow just as smoothy as you expect. My mama bear smothering over her cubs syndrome didn’t really allow my heart the awesome opportunity to drop my children off cheerfully in the drop off circle and wave goodbye. No, that would have been wayyyy too normal. Instead, I walked them in everyday and stayed close to their sides like white on rice. I think my daughters classmates thought that I actually worked there for a minute but( and there is always a but) somehow motherhood and my burning internal desire to help and save people, places, things, and good music somehow turned my attention away from writing my butt off and into parent volunteer mode and how to teach my babies how to effectively line the toilet, squat, flush with feet and sanitize everything.
Being a Mother isn’t as easy as it seems and in fact it is much more difficult than trying to create an effective protagonist and antagonist or a stream of consciousness piece that my readers will actually understand. In fact, this motherhood remixed with wifehood are the most difficult gigs I have ever had. The freaking expectations are the worse like providing clean clothes daily ( for everyone…ughhh), dinner( or at least groceries in the house..still ughhhhh), and paying bills( somewhat on time……triple ughhh) but I must not complain too much because my husband and I share this cooperative team work makes the dream work ideology that I never seem to get because I never played sports so when we hurdle( I think that’s spelled right) up to figure out our next parental move I sort of just stand there trying to figure out why in the world does my husband still think that he is in college playing ball and gathering around trying to figure out moves.
As you can clearly see I am a bit of a mommy rebel. I am not like those super star, overachieving, fundraising loving, I cook breakfast, lunch and dinner plus volunteer and clean type of moms. Oh, no…..I want to live so I decided to chill. I have realized that this motherhood and wife stuff does not come with an effective manual that fits all and that when I feel like running around in circles screaming and waving my arms frantically in the air; that’s quite normal and even if the laundry closet is my newest hang out spot which I managed to squeeze a bean bag chair into and a mini extra quiet expresso machine that fits perfectly on the middle towel shelf, is normal too(semi). A mommy/wife/writer has to do what she has to do…….
People are so jealous and just not happy for people who are moving ahead of them in any kind of way. Women have gotten so competitive that we have forgotten to support each other. It saddens me that so many people harbor hate within their hearts. Let’s just learn how to love and live!