I rubbed my fingers through a pile of mustard seeds just to see and feel for myself how small they actually were. Now, I suppose my faith is strong. Strong enough to overcede a mustard seed. I watched how they rolled out of my hand and through the openings in the palms of my hands until there was nothing else left. I got up from my chair convinced that my faith would push through doors and boundaries that I couldn’t even imagine. I was sure that the mustard seed had nothing on the faith I had tucked away in me. At that moment I knew the battles I faced were in need of a boost of faith and me falling down onto my knees in total submission.
Now, I got up and walked away and no more than a day when everything seemed to be falling down I downgraded my prayer and starting saying if it’s in your will and I stopped and something came to me. Now in the bible it’s written that, “You ask and do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives so that you may spend it on your own pleasures”( James 4:3) Now, a big fine house with a pool out in the back is great but what about world hunger, missionaries fighting for their lives, safety in our country and throughout the world, peace, togetherness in the communities, better schools? We must start praying and unselfishly for peace, favor, and grace over leaders, communities, family members, and self and watch how that little mustard seed of faith and praise will make a impact… a positive impact..
I think it’s rather simple yet people make this love thing extremely complex. People are running around not even speaking to parents, siblings, aunts, friends, co-workers, even strangers and uncles too.
I realized that life is far too precious to hold grudges and anger towards others when we can be happy, full of laughter, and sharing love instead of cold shoulders and frowns. I can’t express it enough. Love is the key to living a happy life.
Trust me I am not perfect and problems come up but I try my best to share love, joy and most importantly understanding. We must become more compassionate and loving so drop the attitude and replace it with real love…..
I have been away for far too long but I must admit my retreat was well deserved but( and there is always a but) transitioning my children into public school for the first time was scary as hell, and sort of took away from the cool and laid back writing retreat I planned for myself as soon as I decided to send them off to school.
All mothers and fathers know that somehow plans never seem to flow just as smoothy as you expect. My mama bear smothering over her cubs syndrome didn’t really allow my heart the awesome opportunity to drop my children off cheerfully in the drop off circle and wave goodbye. No, that would have been wayyyy too normal. Instead, I walked them in everyday and stayed close to their sides like white on rice. I think my daughters classmates thought that I actually worked there for a minute but( and there is always a but) somehow motherhood and my burning internal desire to help and save people, places, things, and good music somehow turned my attention away from writing my butt off and into parent volunteer mode and how to teach my babies how to effectively line the toilet, squat, flush with feet and sanitize everything.
Being a Mother isn’t as easy as it seems and in fact it is much more difficult than trying to create an effective protagonist and antagonist or a stream of consciousness piece that my readers will actually understand. In fact, this motherhood remixed with wifehood are the most difficult gigs I have ever had. The freaking expectations are the worse like providing clean clothes daily ( for everyone…ughhh), dinner( or at least groceries in the house..still ughhhhh), and paying bills( somewhat on time……triple ughhh) but I must not complain too much because my husband and I share this cooperative team work makes the dream work ideology that I never seem to get because I never played sports so when we hurdle( I think that’s spelled right) up to figure out our next parental move I sort of just stand there trying to figure out why in the world does my husband still think that he is in college playing ball and gathering around trying to figure out moves.
As you can clearly see I am a bit of a mommy rebel. I am not like those super star, overachieving, fundraising loving, I cook breakfast, lunch and dinner plus volunteer and clean type of moms. Oh, no…..I want to live so I decided to chill. I have realized that this motherhood and wife stuff does not come with an effective manual that fits all and that when I feel like running around in circles screaming and waving my arms frantically in the air; that’s quite normal and even if the laundry closet is my newest hang out spot which I managed to squeeze a bean bag chair into and a mini extra quiet expresso machine that fits perfectly on the middle towel shelf, is normal too(semi). A mommy/wife/writer has to do what she has to do…….
I knew you all would love the title but this should be a phrase that you say often…. Let me tell you something as soon as you start to walk a righteous path I swear the enemy will throw fear, shame, and anxiety in your way to stop you from living your purpose and doing right. Example….. If you are walking right, happy, and healthy and caring for others a test will be thrown in your path almost instantly to make you NOT want to forgive, NOT want to fight for your family, Not want to trust, Not want to be at peace. We must understand that a fear of anything is not of God and learn how to shout out Get Back Satan and mean it.
We all need a god box and I am sure you are asking why? Well, I pray and place my prayers in a God Box as a way of releasing them to God, totally and completely. I step away from my prayers and rest easy on my faith that my prayers will be answered and will be delivered.
So today go out and get a box, any ole box and then sit down and write out to God your worries and concerns and then tuck it away in your GOD Box and then walk away from it and trust…
Some stones to work on increasing faith
Try meditating with Amethyst or a Labradorite stone and make sure you cleanse the stones using the stone cleansing technique explained in Honey, I’m Full Figured So What on amazon.com