Excerpt from, Who Gave You The Right a story within Ain’t Good For My Soul:
June 20, 2014
” I can’t get the sound of my mothers’ voice. The voice I have heard my whole life out of my head. Just last night she whispered hidden thoughts into my ears. Thoughts that should have remained uncovered. Thoughts I can’t seem to shake off. Those words. The words are lingering around in my head and I can’t seem to get them to stop. Her soft and sweet whispers are sounds that no daughter or son for that matter should have to hear from their mother; the first woman I learned to trust. The whispers are now escalating every second into louder sounds; ringing sounds; repeating sounds. Into cutting words. Damaging words”. GRAB YOUR COPY OF Ain’t Good For My Soul today!!! on amazon.com of course!!!
I rubbed my fingers through a pile of mustard seeds just to see and feel for myself how small they actually were. Now, I suppose my faith is strong. Strong enough to overcede a mustard seed. I watched how they rolled out of my hand and through the openings in the palms of my hands until there was nothing else left. I got up from my chair convinced that my faith would push through doors and boundaries that I couldn’t even imagine. I was sure that the mustard seed had nothing on the faith I had tucked away in me. At that moment I knew the battles I faced were in need of a boost of faith and me falling down onto my knees in total submission.
Now, I got up and walked away and no more than a day when everything seemed to be falling down I downgraded my prayer and starting saying if it’s in your will and I stopped and something came to me. Now in the bible it’s written that, “You ask and do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives so that you may spend it on your own pleasures”( James 4:3) Now, a big fine house with a pool out in the back is great but what about world hunger, missionaries fighting for their lives, safety in our country and throughout the world, peace, togetherness in the communities, better schools? We must start praying and unselfishly for peace, favor, and grace over leaders, communities, family members, and self and watch how that little mustard seed of faith and praise will make a impact… a positive impact..
After I snuggled into my bed with my white cheddar popcorn and room temperature red rock ginger ale. I started to flip through my Atlanta Parent magazine realizing at that very moment that I am now like one of those super attentive moms with team shirts and fundraising packets stuck closely to my chest. The very thing that I have dreaded and refused to get into. I was a mom. A mom that really wants that mini- van that I ridiculed for all of those years. Shame! What have I turned into?
The make-up departed when my baby was 2 year old and just forget wearing heels. Baby, I love my sneakers and tights. With a sporty tee of course and combs….what are those anyway? And Fashion has become a foreign word that I can no longer pronounce.
The fact is I am a mother….No, I am this famous lady, or flashy person. I am a mother and I am fine with that. Now, I must admit at times I feel like my identity has went to hell and stayed there because I have changed soooo much. Motherhood brings you into a place you never imagined being. A place that is suppose to take you away for selfish desires and focus on trying your best with the grace of God to raise your children to be God fearing, and productive citizens.
I had to really evaluate some things. Do I need to pump out books galore, go to work everyday, work a part-time job just to accumulate more things and have more time away from my daughters and husband. I think I am quite fine and blessed maybe I will go for that famous thing when the baby goes off to college. Who knows>>>>>
Ok, I must admit that writing is truly a passion of mines and there are no buts about it. I love writing out all of my complex thoughts and odd scenarios. It’s as if my imagination, worries, and fears intertwine for a literary pow-wow which is not only therapy sort of but it creates some really good stuff. I just really felt like I needed to write something on here so there it was. Have a blessed evening folks!
Meditation is so essential. In order to focus and create a plan to achieve what you desire you must learn how to still that busy mind of yours and stilling your mind can be extremely difficult and stressful especially when you are running around frantically looking for just that one sweet moment of peace. I was at my ob/gyn and every woman I know is never looking forward to experience that huge violation of privacy besides me!!!!! I love the peace and quiet haven the doctors office can bring after dealing with my loud and active 3 and 5 year old and in fact I look at my ob visit as a bit of a vacation at times… I know you all are thinking Ross is insane but this was my reality until I just started to reschedule my children’s schedules around so I could get my meditation in and then I finally started to slowly incorporate meditating in with our morning and afternoon activities and believe it or NOT….It works…Now, it took me two solid weeks of them fussing and not willing to cooperate but it works!!!!!! As a busy business owner and mother I knew I had to get something going because I couldn’t pause the children and a surely couldn’t pause work…. So we must learn how to still our mind and meditate with out odd schedules for our sanity….
You can find meditation exercises in my book Honey, I’m Full Figured So What on amazon and below are a free starter tips…
Crystals ground your energy and a excellent to hold during meditation…
Grab a Lilac Lepidolite, Emerald, Gem Silica Chryscolla
hold it in your left hand and close those eyes and begin to breath in with your nose and exhale and drop those shoulders through your mouth…..
A RELAX…..RELEASE…..AND HEAL…. Join Meditating Beauties June 22, 2014 @grant park for a FREE urban chic guided meditation for more info go to http://www.healingflolounge.weebly.com I hope to see you beautiful people there and enjoy your weekend