Life…….

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After the day has passed away I am usually left in my thoughts. Trying to figure out who is true, who is fake, which way to go, which risk to dive into, who to share it with, and who to partner with.

Honestly, I went wrong when I tried to figure. I am slowly learning to break away from my trust issues and just say a prayer and be confident in knowing that God is guiding me and that I am ok. It’s not easy living in a world that loves to take advantage of people when you have a giving and lifting people up type of spirit.  Especially when you find yourself lifting, and pouring into others that really would never do the same for you which doesn’t make them a horrible person but it has  taught me to take care of Dee first and STOP people pleasing and it should teach you same thing.I am learning that I am not selfish for loving on Dee. I can still help others but I am learning to first help myself and that’s the truth. Now, I just gotta put that taking care of Dee thing into action.

Peace and Blessing to you all…….Enjoy your weekend!!!

Mustard Seed

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I rubbed my fingers through a pile of mustard seeds just to see and feel for myself how small they actually were. Now, I suppose my faith is strong. Strong enough to overcede a mustard seed. I watched how they rolled out of my hand and through the openings in the palms of my hands until there was nothing else left. I got up from my chair convinced that my faith would push through doors and boundaries that I couldn’t even imagine. I was sure that the mustard seed had nothing on the faith I had tucked away in me. At that moment I knew the battles I faced were in need of a boost of faith and me falling down onto my knees in total submission.

Now, I got up and walked away and no more than a day when everything seemed to be falling down I downgraded my prayer and starting saying if it’s in your will and I stopped and something came to me. Now in the bible it’s written that, “You ask and do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives so that you may spend it on your own pleasures”( James 4:3) Now, a big fine house with a pool out in the back is great but what about world hunger, missionaries fighting for their lives, safety in our country and throughout the world, peace, togetherness in the communities, better schools? We must start praying and unselfishly for peace, favor, and grace over leaders, communities, family members, and self and watch how that little mustard seed of faith and praise will make a impact… a positive impact..

pray more!!!Slide1 Slide1

A Writers Mind is INTENSE

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I haven’t had a night like this in quite sometime. Maybe it’s the wind or rain that has placed me in a state of thought. My thoughts are pumping rapidly and I can barely put them together. The wind is no longer calming me it’s evoking me to sit up and write out my thoughts as they come into my mind. I have been on this yo-yo trip. Going up and down…..back and forth not wanting to stop figuring and readjusting plans and plots. I thought I had it all figured out and mapped out….the plot lines of course. But somehow I started writing and my story went into a direction that had the characters confused and me too. My story became a bit drastic and even something eerie mixed with comic relief mixed with reality. I am well pass my bedtime but this storyline must be revamped line by line. The mind of a writer is quite intense…

Writers Mind

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Writersssss

         MIND!!!!!!!

It’s racing at a pace I can’t even calculate. My creativity is overflowing AND starting to spew out onto blank screens. Producing masterpieces of black splashes laid neatly onto rows with elegant pearl white backdrops. I can’t explain it and nevertheless contain it. This story in my mind and heart must be birthed  out……..it has to be birthed and not aborted for this is too great of a work brewing ready to intoxicate the minds of readers here and there. These labor pains are a bit intense just bare with me for a bit…..

Peace…….love…..and write your heart out……….

Writing…Blah….blah blahhhhh

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Ok, I must admit that writing is truly a passion of mines and there are no buts about it. I love writing out all of my complex thoughts  and odd scenarios. It’s as if my imagination, worries, and fears intertwine for a literary pow-wow which  is not only therapy sort of but it creates some really good stuff. I just really felt like I needed to write something on here so there it was. Have a blessed evening folks!

Line Dancing ughhhhh!!!

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I walked into the room with my hot pink leg warmers pulled up high and my matches sweat band gripping my head tightly with a water bottle and towel held tightly in my right hand. The sign on door still has a fresh smell of marker lingering around as I pulled the door knob to enter into the line dancing 101 class. I didn’t know what to expect but for some strange reason I knew that was going to have a strangely weird experience. I can’t follow directions and my attention span is none to be desired so this was sure to be something. I just didn’t know what. Immediately a lady with the biggest red hair saw me. “You are new aren’t ya” she said in a southern accent as I reached down to pull my leg warmers back up over my legs. I nodded my head rather gently and hoped that she wouldn’t try to hold me for enormously long conversations. I quickly rushed over to the corner of the room because I knew that I needed ample space to mess up in. The room started to fill up quickly with ladies who were much more ripe than my 34 years of age. I started to relax and chill because I thought surely these ladies couldn’t out due me. There was no way. So, I rubbed my hands together slowly and softly gearing myself up as I looked around the room.

“Ladies welcome…welcome.. the first dance is Sheila”, everybody had these dreadfully serious looks on their faces as raised brows looked sternly at the instructor for directions. I knew in my heart and soul that I was going to be doing my own moves but then the unthinkable happened. IT WAS TWO instructors and one came and stood right next to me. There was no way for me to run now. They could see the entire room. I cracked my knuckles and rolled my neck slowly knowing that now things just got a little serious. The music came on and bounced off of the walls as hands clapped and fingers snapped. There was no turning back now. I had to move, shack, and go in the same dang on direction.

Line Dancing part 2 ughhhh ughhh ughhhh coming soon.

Mommy Hide…Say What!

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I finally made it to my bed as I congregated with my pillows, and linen. For once I wasn’t  rushing to get my girls off to school as we search for that one shoe that mysteriously goes missing on the mornings that we wake up a hour late and I wasn’t  impatiently waiting in that long smug infused carpool pick up line. For just once I wasn’t debating with my four year old over the reasons why she shouldn’t be singing that alphabet song and how it has mentally messed up a ton of kids on understanding that L, M, N, O, and P are indeed separate letters.

To be perfectly honest with you all I had  anticipated this moment of slight freedom, peace, quietness, and alone time with my computer and thoughts but somehow my children had some other warped plan oozing out of their minds that didn’t include peace and instead included that awesome enemy of mines, Mr. Frayed Ohhh I’m Going Insane Nerves.

Just as my eyelids started to close after I wrote the most intense scene of my life( well, at least I think so and that’s all that count’s…right???)

And before my body totally relaxed down out of nowhere I heard  it…. the sound of children…two of them…..fighting. Then they shouted out in unison, Mommyyyyyyy and held that y out unti they both ran out of air. One would fade out and then the other one will start right back up. At that moment I realized that my date with myself and my computer and even sleep had been cut short. I figured that I would just sit there in my big comfy bed and maybe they would stop but somehow I should have known a little better.

Then I decided to hide….oh yes…. I decided to hide…. under blankets and covers too until the storm was over. Before I could get settled in I heard my door slowly opening as the hinges creaked and I remained still as I could.

“Mommy is sleep”, one of them whispered

At that moment I think I contemplated on remaining still or running out of the room screaming and yelling leaving them behind looking and wondering what was going on with me. Instead, I remained still. I thought that perhaps I had escaped the children for this one night but then my oldest child with much aggression and authority said, “No she is not…she is pretending”. By now I figured they had me cornered but I wasn’t giving in so quickly so I still didn’t make a noise. I heard somebody sliding over my step stool and I knew that my pretending was over and before I could scream gotcha both of my girls had pulled the covers off of me and even had the nerve to push my laptop over. I looked at them both as they rubbed their little eyes and climbed up on my bed only to snuggle up close to my side. I think we stayed up for a few more hours and after they decided to fall asleep in my bed I pulled out my computer and then wrote the second most wonderful scene of my life…..

Mommy Writers are special people….indeed!!!