I never wanted to speak like someone else, or write like someone else. I have always loved myself through all of my flaws and all. As I listen to people and hear grips and groans about how they desire to be somebody else. I realize that not loving yourself is scary, painful, and something I pray my daughters never experience. We must love the uniqueness God gave us and utilize to live on purpose.
God made us special and unique for a reason. Not to desire to be like somebody else…..that’s a sin but we are to love our self authentically and others. But how can we truly love our neighbor when we don’t love ourselves.
Time to life life and let your individual light shine!!!!
After the day has passed away I am usually left in my thoughts. Trying to figure out who is true, who is fake, which way to go, which risk to dive into, who to share it with, and who to partner with.
Honestly, I went wrong when I tried to figure. I am slowly learning to break away from my trust issues and just say a prayer and be confident in knowing that God is guiding me and that I am ok. It’s not easy living in a world that loves to take advantage of people when you have a giving and lifting people up type of spirit. Especially when you find yourself lifting, and pouring into others that really would never do the same for you which doesn’t make them a horrible person but it has taught me to take care of Dee first and STOP people pleasing and it should teach you same thing.I am learning that I am not selfish for loving on Dee. I can still help others but I am learning to first help myself and that’s the truth. Now, I just gotta put that taking care of Dee thing into action.
Peace and Blessing to you all…….Enjoy your weekend!!!
I rubbed my fingers through a pile of mustard seeds just to see and feel for myself how small they actually were. Now, I suppose my faith is strong. Strong enough to overcede a mustard seed. I watched how they rolled out of my hand and through the openings in the palms of my hands until there was nothing else left. I got up from my chair convinced that my faith would push through doors and boundaries that I couldn’t even imagine. I was sure that the mustard seed had nothing on the faith I had tucked away in me. At that moment I knew the battles I faced were in need of a boost of faith and me falling down onto my knees in total submission.
Now, I got up and walked away and no more than a day when everything seemed to be falling down I downgraded my prayer and starting saying if it’s in your will and I stopped and something came to me. Now in the bible it’s written that, “You ask and do not receive because you ask with the wrong motives so that you may spend it on your own pleasures”( James 4:3) Now, a big fine house with a pool out in the back is great but what about world hunger, missionaries fighting for their lives, safety in our country and throughout the world, peace, togetherness in the communities, better schools? We must start praying and unselfishly for peace, favor, and grace over leaders, communities, family members, and self and watch how that little mustard seed of faith and praise will make a impact… a positive impact..
It’s racing at a pace I can’t even calculate. My creativity is overflowing AND starting to spew out onto blank screens. Producing masterpieces of black splashes laid neatly onto rows with elegant pearl white backdrops. I can’t explain it and nevertheless contain it. This story in my mind and heart must be birthed out……..it has to be birthed and not aborted for this is too great of a work brewing ready to intoxicate the minds of readers here and there. These labor pains are a bit intense just bare with me for a bit…..
After I snuggled into my bed with my white cheddar popcorn and room temperature red rock ginger ale. I started to flip through my Atlanta Parent magazine realizing at that very moment that I am now like one of those super attentive moms with team shirts and fundraising packets stuck closely to my chest. The very thing that I have dreaded and refused to get into. I was a mom. A mom that really wants that mini- van that I ridiculed for all of those years. Shame! What have I turned into?
The make-up departed when my baby was 2 year old and just forget wearing heels. Baby, I love my sneakers and tights. With a sporty tee of course and combs….what are those anyway? And Fashion has become a foreign word that I can no longer pronounce.
The fact is I am a mother….No, I am this famous lady, or flashy person. I am a mother and I am fine with that. Now, I must admit at times I feel like my identity has went to hell and stayed there because I have changed soooo much. Motherhood brings you into a place you never imagined being. A place that is suppose to take you away for selfish desires and focus on trying your best with the grace of God to raise your children to be God fearing, and productive citizens.
I had to really evaluate some things. Do I need to pump out books galore, go to work everyday, work a part-time job just to accumulate more things and have more time away from my daughters and husband. I think I am quite fine and blessed maybe I will go for that famous thing when the baby goes off to college. Who knows>>>>>
Thoughts raced in my mind quicker than a speeding bullet or at least that sounds about right. Fear seems to be contagious in a way. I would hang around certain people and before long I would have fears racing in my head and some of those fears did not belong to me. So, was I supposed to live in a bubble? or just run like hell from people? But choices that I came up with did not go with my personality. I am a lover of people and even animals too. I loved talking to people about life and experiences but if I got around a crew that had a thousand and one buts as to why they are not happy and where they want to be and had something negative say about not only themselves but other people I would slowly feel myself loosing energy as I absorbed their crap. My husband says to me all of the time that I listen and that’s all people want is for someone to listen but I wasn’t just listening I was absorbing and I wasn’t getting paid for it. The thing is this. I have to learn how to step in take my power back and do what makes me feel great and that’s speaking life over myself and others. So toss those negative thoughts out the door and welcome in new people and situations.
Steps to elevate Negativity in your Life
1. Pray( please a prayer in your God box asking God to change your mind set and place positive and progressive people in your life and block out all of those that aren’t right for you)
2. Live your life (Do fun things….laugh a lot and worry less)
3. At the end of the day and before your day begins MEDITATE
4. Exercise more( walks in nature)
5. Eat healthier( going to sleep after eating cake will have you dreaming all kinds of crazy stuff.
6. If somebody is around you and everything is negative just walk away and politely excuse yourself *you might be alone for awhile but honey that is better than being around someone that dumps their crap on you…
I think it’s rather simple yet people make this love thing extremely complex. People are running around not even speaking to parents, siblings, aunts, friends, co-workers, even strangers and uncles too.
I realized that life is far too precious to hold grudges and anger towards others when we can be happy, full of laughter, and sharing love instead of cold shoulders and frowns. I can’t express it enough. Love is the key to living a happy life.
Trust me I am not perfect and problems come up but I try my best to share love, joy and most importantly understanding. We must become more compassionate and loving so drop the attitude and replace it with real love…..